My World Crumbles
by AlwaysPadfoot
Summary: Marlene is my world, my everything, and no one knows it but me. Rated M.


**My World Crumbles**

**AlwaysPadfoot**

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**Prompts**: courage, butterfly, glitter

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**Sunday 3rd July 1981, Outside her House, 5:24am**

Why am I here?

Someone please explain to me what on earth I'm doing standing on her street in the pouring rain. I think perhaps it's fair to say that I, Sirius Black, have got it bad.

I could leave. Everything was so fucked up now with Prongs in hiding with Lily and Little Harry. Moony everyday looked more and more like he was the traitor in the order and Wormtail, well, he was just Peter. It wouldn't make much difference if I just left the country - transfer out to the states. No one had time any longer for me in those rare moments that I wasn't doing my duty as an auror, except her.

It's too hard not going to work with Prongs or spending the full moon with Moony. It would be easy to run, but she stopped me. I'm too head over heels in love. We have always said this was just a thing but the more time we spend together the deeper I fall.

Prongs would freak if he heard that but I feel like I need to declare it because I'm tied to staying in the country more due to her than anybody else these days.

I'm in love with Marlene McKinnon.

I lift my arms into the air, feeling the rain on my face and then something overcomes me, I start towards the McKinnon house. I know Marlene's parents are away with her four year old sister this weekend, her brother is still at school, I'm positive he's a first year.

That doesn't matter because even if they were there I'd find a way in.

My Gryffindor courage takes over, I reach the front lawn and grin up at the window I know is hers, forgetting how early it was.

"MARLENE!" I shout as loud as I can over the downpour of rain and after the sixth time the front door slams open. She appears in a blue thin top and a white pair of skimpy shorts. Boy, she really leaves nothing to the imagination. Her blonde hair is all scooped up into a messy bun on top of her head except for one loose tendril that hangs at the left of her face.

"Get in here you idiot," she hisses at me like I've done something stupid but then I remember where I am and what time it is. Absentmindedly I shuffle into the house and she shuts the door behind me. I try to look cool but I end up looking rather sheepish instead.

It's almost like she knows what's going through my head. Like she knows just why I'm here. I doubt she'd believe I'm crazy about her, after all this isn't a relationship. We never wanted nor needed one. This was a war we were in, a war where both Marlene and I were high up on Voldemort's wanted list and not in a good way. Yet just thinking about how I could lose her was enough to push me over the edge.

I'd already lost so many people.

If I told her what I was feeling, if I said that she made me crazy when she wasn't around, then I'd surely lose her too. This was supposed to be strictly sex, mindblowingly good sex at that.

"This is about James isn't it?" I follow her up the stairs like a lost puppy dripping water everywhere, "That's why you're here at half five in the morning," she says giving me the sympathetic head tilt that she often did.

"I'm just here to see my stunningly beautiful girlfriend," I tease. She'll never know I'm not joking.

"In your dreams Black," she replies.

"Every night McKinnon," I retort, she thinks I'm joking. I'm not. I can't get her out of my head particularly at night. She turns for a moment once we reach her room and I take the moment to surprise her, sweeping her off her feet and dropping her down onto the bed.

I lean over her, hands either side of her head with a lopsided grin on my face.

"This better be good for five in the morning," she breathes.

"Cheeky," I say, capturing her lips before she can say more. We indulge in the longest minute of passionate kissing before she slowly pops open the buttons my shirt making sure that her fingertips brushed against me. Her touch makes me tingle in the most amazing ways possible so I let my hands wander from her neck downwards. Gracefully my hands slide down across her collarbone, letting the material she was wearing tease her breasts before tracing patterns along her torso.

I can tell she wants to push off my shirt now but she doesn't want my hands to leave her. She slips one hand behind my neck deepening our snogging as I trace circular patterns on the inside of her thigh just below the hem of her incredibly short shorts. She tries to push up against me, her body begging for more connection and more friction but I use my spare hand to keep her down with a grin. After a few seconds of more snogging I stand back and lose the wet shirt and jeans. When I turn back to Marlene she's already clothless with the exception of a deep blue thong. I manage to keep my face straight and my eyes from widening as I felt a shaft of heat to my groin.

Bloody hell. I close the gap between us and Marlene drops back onto the bed, her breasts bouncing as she sits. For a moment my mind threatens an overdrive. She's never been so beautiful.

Quickly she pulls me in for another kiss, her hands on my chest. I return the favour and start by gently groping her breasts until she's beneath me and I'm suddenly dropping butterfly kisses down her neck, on her collar bone. I tease her, breathing softly against the soft tissue of her chest until I feel her hand slip under the elastic of my boxers and realise that I won't get away with not paying particular attention to this area of her body.

I let my lips brush against her nipple and she shudders beneath me. Little waves of arrogance momentarily wash over me and I try not to speak in this moment; I'd probably say something stupid. I run my hands down her body and slowly roll her thong down as she simultaneously tugs at my boxers in an effort to rid me of them. This is the best moment because it's when I realise that she wants me just as much as I want her. It's bliss.

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**Sunday 3rd July 1981, In her House, 8:03am**

Marlene is cacooned against my body, my fingers tracing patterns on her collar bone as we lie in a tangle of sheets and limbs. The sunlight is shining through the gap in her curtains and across her desk. That's something I have never really looked at. Pinned to her board were various pictures of her, the girls and even a few of us Marauders. My gaze falls to another picture, hand drawn, glitter cakes it in patches, and at the bottom there are some wobbly crayon letters.

_Marlene 20 and Annie 4_

I smile softly, but I'm suddenly disturbed as Marlene tugs the sheets from me and over herself, a mischeivous grin spread across her face. I raise a solitary eyebrow before I decide to tickle her relentlessly until she gives up covers, or at least some of the covers. We make a silent deal to share them, for now.

"Have you heard from James yet?" She askes.

I sigh, "Nope, have you heard from Lily?"

"No, but Peter's meeting up with us to give us the location later," Marlene says, absentmindedly picking at a loose thread in her sheet. Her and I would be the only ones who know exactly who James and Lily's secret keeper was. We'd all decided that before they had gone into hiding. We both fall silent for a moment and briefly I study her soft features and beautiful complexion. It makes me want to swoop in and hide her where nobody can find her. I don't ever want to lose her like I have James and Lily. She's too perfect.

Suddenly we both hear a small pop, commonly heard when a portkey arrives. I sit up straight, my wand suddenly in my hand just in case.

"Marlene, sweetheart, we're back."

"Shit," Marlene whispers before turning to me, "You're out of here, Black."

"Awww, and I was hoping to meet the family," I joke as she scrambles around for her clothes. She scowls and chucks my boxers at me.

"Get out."

I laugh to myself, getting changed as quick as I can and smirk, "Love you McKinnon."

She tosses a pillow at me, "Get out of my house. Now."

I grin and flee the house via Marlene's window, escaping to a suitable apparation point. For one moment I stare back at the house, my heart thudding unnaturally against my chest, a goofy smile on my face. Marlene is my world, my everything, and no one knows it but me.

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**Monday 25th July 1981, In her House, 3:47am**

I can't bear it.

I can't breathe.

I can't restrain myself.

I fall to my knees at the side of her body. The light from her eyes has been extinguished, her body cold, her heart no longer beating. I can barely describe what I'm feeling, but it feels like my whole world has come crashing down. Like somebody's squeezing my heart and deliberating whether to rip it from my chest.

Bits of the house have collapsed and I'm kneeling in the part of the second floor that hasn't crumbled down into the lower floor, Marlene's bedroom.

Tears roll off my face onto her body and I gasp for breath like I'm dying, like it's the last breaths I'll take. Suddenly I'm sobbing hard in the remains of the house. I have lost my world and my everything. My only love and I never fucking told her, I never fuckinh told her I loved her. I am head over heels and now she'll never know.

Her, her parents, Annie. Voldemort tore their house to shreds and killed all of them. A whole family, just like that because Marlene dared to be a member of the order. I take a deep shuddering breath, a panicked sweat creeping over my body accompanied by a wave of nausea.

I could said something, told her I loved her with all my heart, kept her safe. But I didn't and Marlene will never know how many of the jokes I made about me loving her were real.

Then I spot it.

Another one of little Annie's pictures. I sniff, dragging my shirt sleeve across my face roughly and reach out for it.

The paper is singed ever so slightly but I understand it. There's a girl in a window and a boy in the garden. My eyes fall to the pink crayon underneath written in a familiar cursive handwriting that is definitely not Annie's.

_Marlene loves Sirius_


End file.
